Monday, March 14, 2005

Basket Case

Remember on Ally McBeal, how all the characters had theme songs? Ally's was Tell Him. This is mine. And last night I dedicated it to my karaoke buddy Mo, who wouldn't let me drive home on Thursday night, and who force-fed me coffee until 4:00 in the morning, and who listened to me whine.
Do you have the time to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once
I am one of those melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it
No doubt about it.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
That's true.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
You have no idea.
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
I'm just stoned


I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
He says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down
That could be it.
I went to a whore
She said my life's a bore
And quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down
Sorry.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
I'm just stoned

Grasping to control
So you better hold on

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
I'm just stoned
Actually, I'm just slightly neurotic. But I'm done whining about the Viking. I'm hungry. Let's go get a taco.

This completes The Viking Trilogy by Postmodern Sass. Enough, already! Go to the next story, in which Sass really does stop whining about The Viking. Little does she know, yet, that she is dead wrong in thinking that things couldn't possibly get any more embarassing. Here's where they did.